Made to Crave- A Journey in Obedience

John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

I was just about to start writing and this verse came to me. What a great opener! I think it would be even more fitting for me if it said, "In this LIFE you will have trouble..." because trouble is what I seem to have! Of course I'm talking about this crazy roller coaster ride I'm on of trying to be healthier. My sugar/processed food demons have gotten the best of me over the last 6 months and all the hard work I'd done has just been washed away. Like seriously, I'm up about 30 pounds in 6 months. What?! I know this is not what God has called me to in this life. I'm meant for more than to have my thoughts consumed by food and thoughts of "how am I going to fix this sugar craving?", etc. That's just not what this life is about. I've read Lysa TerKeurst's book "Made to Crave" like 3 times, but I never end up finishing it. Why? Because if I finish it, I might feel convicted and actually need to implement it and make changes! BUT!! I'm so tired of the back and forth. On the wagon and then back off the wagon. Smaller clothes and then back into the bigger clothes. Enough already! This time I am finishing the book and I'm going to listen to what she has to say. Because she is totally speaking the words I need to hear. 
I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to implement the book. I know that I am an "all or nothing" person when it comes to sugar/processed foods. I really can't have them in moderation. Because once I open the door to a little bit, it's all I can think about and I can't seem to enjoy them responsibly. So for now, that stuff is off the table. It's so freeing for me to say no. It helps me not go back and forth in my mind of will I/won't I? Other than that, I plan on doing meat, veggies, fruits and good carbs (starchy veggies, fruit, maybe some rice/healthy grains every once in awhile). 
I REFUSE to be ruled by food anymore! If I'm feeling so inspired, I'll try to post updates here about what this journey ends up looking like. I tend to keep things to myself out of fear of what others will think of me. But maybe if I'm honest it'll inspire someone else to make changes they've been looking to make. We can do this, friends! Well, actually, we can't. BUT God, in us, CAN!!

Audrey Grace

Tuesday afternoon my sister and her husband welcomed their first baby into the world! I still remember when they came over to our house at the beginning of January to tell us they were expecting and now she's here! Having my sister be pregnant and having a baby feels like I get to enjoy the perks of a baby without all the work! :) Julie went to the hospital over the weekend before Audrey came because her blood pressure was high. On Monday when she went for her doctor's appointment her fluid level was getting a little low so that in combination with her blood pressure made the doctor HIGHLY recommend her getting induced. That made Tuesday a really fun day for me! It was our first MOPS meeting that morning and then after Ryan got home from work and Karys got out of school we headed to Dallas to meet our new niece/cousin. We got to the hospital about an hour after Audrey was born. When we got into the room my parents were there as well as Michel's parents. Audrey is Michel's parents' first grandchild and the first girl for their family. I only got to hold her for a couple of minutes that evening because she had to be taken to the nursery for all that newborn testing, etc. It was okay though, because we knew we'd come back for the weekend. We ended up leaving the hospital about 8:50 and headed back home so that Ryan could go to work the next day and Karys could go to school! It was about 11:00 when we got home...thankfully everyone woke up in good moods the next day!

Me and Audrey in the hospital

The cousins in the hospital

Friday after Ryan got home from work and Karys got out of school we headed back to Dallas for the weekend. I had asked my sister if it would be okay for me to come to their house for the evening by myself. I really wanted some quality Audrey time by myself. I told her that if she and Michel wanted to go out to dinner or something I could stay at their house with Audrey. Later that day she asked me if (instead of me doing that for them) I'd be willing to stay at their house overnight to help with Audrey so she and Michel could get some sleep. After getting the okay from Ryan I told her I'd definitely be okay with that! They were just so sleep-deprived after being at the hospital 3 nights and then having their first night at home with a newborn who didn't want to be put down! I know all about that after having Zane who refused to sleep if I wasn't holding him for his first few nights at home. So Friday night Audrey and I settled in on the couch for the night. She did so well! My sister got up at 1 and fed her and then I gave her a bottle at 4 and Julie got up and fed her again at 7. But in between those feedings she just slept on my arm like a champ!

The girl cousins :)

Zane giving Audrey a kiss :)

On Saturday my parents, Ryan, and the kids came over to their house. We had lunch together and then Ryan, Dad, Michel, and the kids went swimming at the pool in their neighborhood. I had asked Julie beforehand if their pool was still open because I knew that Karys and Zane would get bored being at their house without much to do. Plus I didn't want them to spend their whole time at my sister's house getting in trouble for things they really didn't understand. Especially Zane with things like being gentle, being quiet, etc. Then after getting the okay from Ryan again, I offered to stay at their house again Saturday night and help out. Julie and Michel said if I was offering they wouldn't say no! :) For that night I decided to sleep in their queen sized guest bed to give me a little more room to sleep. It also gave me the chance to try some things out with Audrey. We started out with her sleeping on my arm like we'd done on the couch. Then sometime in the night she started getting a little wiggly so I tried taking my arm out from under her and letting her lay on the bed beside me and she totally did it! My sister went to bed around 9:20 but unfortunately Audrey got hungry soon after so my sister had to spend from 9:45-10:15 feeding her. Afterward Julie was emotionally and physically exhausted so I took over and told Julie that Audrey would be fine and for her to go to sleep. Unfortunately, Audrey was extra hungry at that time and when I tried to go to bed with her she was not having it! So in order to help my sister get a little extra rest I made the executive decision to give her a bottle. Once she got about an additional ounce in her she was good to go and fell right to sleep. My sister said she didn't want her to go longer than 4 hours without eating so I set a timer on my phone. Around 2:00 she started stirring so I decided to go ahead and give her a bottle before she got too upset and hungry. I left her on the bed while I went and made the bottle and got the TV on. :) We got back to bed at 2:40 or so and I set another timer so I could take her to my sister when it was time. Around 5:00 I woke up to her stirring around again and then she pooped! I knew I couldn't leave her like that for an hour but I was really hoping she'd make it until 6:00 (for a feeding) for my sister's sake. I decided to get up and change her and hope for the best. I changed her and she didn't even wake up!! So back to the bed we went. A couple of minutes before my timer went off my sister came into the room and said she was going to take her to feed her. I showed Julie how Audrey was just laying on the bed beside me without being held which excited us both! So Julie took her out and I went back to sleep until 9:15. :)

I was really glad to be able to spend this time with my sister and enjoy some bonding time with my niece. It's funny how when you don't have a newborn anymore you really treasure the time you get to spend with one more than you do when you have one! Mostly because when you don't have one you're not as sleep-deprived! :)

Me and Audrey :)

It's Possible...

First, some backstory. Every year at VBS, the fourth day of VBS presents salvation to the kids. They learn about how Jesus dies on the cross for our sins and that those who believe that and choose to ask him to be in charge of their lives are saved and go to heaven. This year our children's director asked that the leaders that felt comfortable helping a child pray to receive Christ come up to the front of the sanctuary during our finale when the kids are given the chance to accept Jesus into their hearts. I felt like I could handle that so I went up with about half of the leaders and sat down on the steps at the front of the sanctuary. As soon as the kids were told that they could come talk to a leader if they wanted to ask questions or talk about asking Jesus into their hearts, Karys came up and sat with me. I assumed she was just wanting to sit with me. But I asked her if she knew why kids were coming up and explained that they were wanting to ask Jesus into their hearts. I talked a little bit about it with her and then asked her if that was something she wanted to do. She said yes and so I helped her come up with the words for her prayer. I told Ryan about it later that evening but we didn't tell anyone else about it because we didn't know if she really had an understanding of what salvation was or anything. To be honest, we just weren't sure if she had really accepted Jesus or not.

Tonight (about 3 months after VBS) as I was drying her hair, we were singing the song "I've Got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Heart" and she tells me that Jesus is in my heart and her heart. I asked her how she knew he was in her heart. She proceeds to tell me, "It was a long time ago at Kingdom Rock, I came up to the front and sat on the steps with you. I asked Jesus to come into my heart and He shined in front of me and came into my heart." I honestly do not know what to make of this! I had no idea she remembered that event because we haven't talked about it (since I wasn't sure that she really understood what it meant to ask Jesus into your heart and why someone would want to do it). I told Ryan tonight that maybe she had more of an understanding than either of us thought. I'm at least happy that she seems to understand what it means to be saved. :)

First Week of Kindergarten!

Karys is a kindergartener! It feels so weird to even say that or think it! School started on Tuesday this past week and so far it seems to be good. Especially for someone that has no "real" classroom experience. The first day of school we walked her in to her class. Ryan even went into work late so he could be apart of the fun. There were no tears from anyone! We had met her teacher the Thursday before and she is so sweet and gentle. I think she'll be the perfect fit for Karys. When we got to her class, her teacher, Mrs. Smith helped Karys unpack her backpack and showed her where to put her lunch and how to hang up her backpack. :) We told her goodbye and then Zane and I headed to the park to play with some friends because I didn't know how he would handle his partner in crime being gone all day! Thankfully the weather Tuesday morning was pretty mild and we ended up staying at the park 2 1/2 hours!! Just in time to go home, eat lunch, take a nap, and then go get Karys. When she got home from school we tried to ask her about her day and what she had done and it took awhile for her to remember what she had done. But we learned that she knew the name of one kid in the class and that she'd gotten to go to Music and they packed their school boxes with crayons, a pencil, a glue stick, and scissors. :)

The only thing I learned that she didn't like is P.E. They went on Wednesday and Thursday and she told me Wednesday that she didn't like it because all of the kids were running around and they might run into her. Karys can be a a crazy kid, but only in circumstances where there are not a lot of people around. Once it gets crowded she is fearful that bigger kids are going to push her or knock her down, whether it's on purpose or not. She said that the teacher told her to run and she told the teacher she didn't want to. :) I asked her what the teacher said and she told her to run and that she'd be okay. I asked Karys what she did after that and she said she ran. So I'm glad that she obeys even if she doesn't want to. I told her that she could choose to have fun, or she could choose to not have fun, but she couldn't choose not to do it. It was suggested to me to email her P.E. teacher just to tell her what was going on so I did that this afternoon and not soon after, she called me! She told me she read my email and thought, "I need to call her." She told me Karys wasn't the only one crying and that it just takes them awhile to get used to the kids being able to run around and be loud. A lot of the kids (Karys included) don't like when other kids are loud. She said they don't mind being loud themselves, but they don't want everyone else to be loud! :) I couldn't believe she called me on a Sunday, on a holiday weekend, when I wasn't even requesting a call! I'm thankful for where we are for school. :)

Oh, and if you missed the cute story on FB: those shoes Karys is wearing we bought special for school. They light up and every day when she puts on her shoes for school Zane wants his tennis shoes so he can be like Karys. I decided to go buy him some light up shoes the other day and as soon as he got them on he said, "Okay, I ready for school!" He really wants to be just like his big sister! :)

Obligatory first day pics :)

Taking a picture in front of the school with Zane

At the door to her class

With her sweet teacher :)



Karys's 5th Birthday

I cannot believe that I have been a mom for a whole 5 years now! Karys is such a fun girl and she almost always has a bright smile on her face. This year she's even getting ready for kindergarten!

We had planned originally to do her birthday party at the splash pad here in town but after we did Zane's half-birthday party at our house she decided she wanted to her party here at the house too. It actually works really well for us too because it means we don't have to pack anything up and take it anywhere else!

She has decided lately that Daisy Duck is her favorite and she wanted a Daisy Duck birthday party. Well in case you haven't noticed, Daisy Duck is not really a main character in Mickey Mouse so it's hard to find her by herself. However, she and Minnie Mouse have teamed up for Minnie Mouse Bow-Tique so you can at least find them together! We were able to find plates at Walmart (yeah, for no expensive party supply store!) and then I just made the party theme with lots of purple since Daisy wears purple.

I also thought that since she was 5 it would be fun to play a game at the party since she and most of her friends are older so they could follow rules and everything. After a short online search I decided it would be fun to do a "Prize Walk." Basically it's like a Cake Walk but instead of winning a cake you win prizes. I was on the ball for this party (I kind of ended up throwing Zane's party together last minute) so a few weeks before the party the kids and I scoured the Dollar Tree for appropriate girl and boy prizes. We tried to get Minnie/Daisy and Mickey prizes wherever possible...and there were a lot! On the party day I drew a big circle on the carport with purple sidewalk chalk and made numbered spaces. However, I was not thinking about the fact that the kids would've been playing in the water before this and all of my chalk was going to disappear! Oh well, we winged it a bit and they had a good time. :)

I was going to create a birthday banner, but I ended up just taping each individual piece to the wall. :)

Friends eating together. We got this kids picnic table after Zane's party had already happened...it sure is perfect for friends to sit at together!

Cupcakes. Fitting with our Daisy Duck "purple" theme.

Opening presents. These sweet friends sat there and watched her open every single one. The other kids fizzled out quickly. :) Karys had told Zane she wanted him to be her present helper. He was probably one of the first to leave to get back in the pool! :)

Happy birthday, Karys! You're a whole hand now! Thanks, friends, for enduring two parties so close together for us! :)

Zane's 2 1/2 Birthday Party

Poor Zane. He was born a mere three days after Christmas which means that his birthday and Christmas are practically the same thing. This year for his two year old party I was planning to do it on New Year's Eve since I figured most of our friends that travel out of town would be back. I wanted an outdoor party because our house just doesn't accomodate many and plus the kids had gotten some really great outdoor stuff for Christmas. Then it decided to rain. I kept thinking I would reschedule it and then I just kept forgetting! I told Ryan that I guess we just wouldn't do a party for him this year and then he suggested that we start the 1/2 birthday party. So on his actual birthday we will do a family party and then he can have a party with his friends for his half birthday.

He wanted a "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" theme. Of course the only place I could find plates, etc. with Jake on them would have to be the most expensive party store in town!! ($4 for 8 plates is ridiculous!!) But oh well. Since it's summertime we had just gotten a really big blow up pool so we had that set up, plus the kids could just play in the yard.

He had a fun time and Karys enjoyed being his "present helper." (This is the person that brings you your presents to open at your party. :)

Here's Zane next to his cake. I went to Walmart for this cake and they did have a Jake design but didn't have the plastic pieces that were supposed to go with it. I found the figurines in the toy section at Walmart so I bought those and they made the cake to go with it. Very cute, I thought! :)

A post-cake picture. :)

 

Anticipating opening presents.

 

Karys acting as "present helper." :)

When you're 2 1/2 you no longer need help getting presents open! :) And this picture is hilarious because he was given the bat/ball as a present and someone tried to take it and hold it so this is how he decided to keep it safe. :)

Thank you, friends, for coming out and helping Zane have a fun half-birthday! :)

"Normal"

Those of you that have known our family for awhile probably remember that when Karys was Zane's age she was in speech therapy because she had some pretty bad speech delays. So Zane is my first experience with "normal" toddler developments. Today we ate lunch at Chick Fil A and we were in the play area. Another little boy came in and he and Karys were talking to each other (they found out they were both 4 :). The boy had to get his shoes and go back out to his mom. He pulled out Spiderman flip flops from one of the cubbies. Zane saw these shoes (he also has Spiderman flip flops) and proceeded to get very excited telling this little boy that he had Spiderman flip flops too. He was saying things like, "Look! I have 'piderman lee-lah (flip flops) too!" :) It's fun to see how he can put words together into sentences. The other day someone in his class at church bit him on the leg. His teacher told me he said (when it happened): "He bite me!" The story actually makes me smile because I think it's cute that he knew the terminology to say what had been done to him. This kiddo makes me smile!